Still alive
But not kicking it so much.
So someone mentioned that I havn't updated my blog for a while. Hmm... It's been one year or so. I'm still alive but not sure if I'm living though. If you know what I mean.
I'm back in Sweden and have been here for over a year now. I know it's insane! Guidelife at my last destianation didn't turn out to what I thought it would be, and there was alot of things going on back home so I felt that I needed to be with my loved ones.
At the moment I'm working at a kindergarten, which is great. I love working with kids and I have been working at this kindergarten before so I know everyone there. I'll be there until June and after that I don't know what will happen in my life.
It's so nice to be able to see my loved ones on a weekly basis and I love it when I can help my sister out with my nephews and take my niece to the stable. And I need to say I even enjoy Christmas! Which I've never liked before.
But, I would lie if I said that I'm happy with my life. That would be a BIG fat lie! This is still Sweden, and sorry to say, I don't like it. Winter makes me depressed and I've seen some signs on my body that I'm no fine. This have happend to me before and that was just before I collapsed one day on the floor.
I miss the world! I miss meeting new exciting people! I miss that Moa I am there and then. The fearless, curious, living, amazing person I can be. Here I'm only a bad version of myself. A gray, boring no YOLO kind of person.
People usually ask me what I want in my life, when I will get a job "for real", when I'll live on my own, when I'll grow up and so on. You know what, never! I'll never get a "real job" when that means waking up and go and do something you most likely don't like doing just to earn money so you can live for the weekends. That means IF you don't have a job that include weekends, which most jobs do.
I'll not pay for an apartment just to have somewhere to spend my pointless life, I don't even like being by myself.
And I'll NEVER grow up if that means to be like everyone else! A gray version of something else you could have been.
And on the question what I want to do with my life; I want to fucking live it! That's what I want for my self. I know, selfish hah?
Kommentarer
Postat av: Anonym
Jag är iallafall glad att ha dig här. Sen några utsvävningar kan jag väl stå ut med☺️ Du lever ditt liv som du vill. Du är inte här för någon annans skull. Sen att man är tillsammans och mår bra av det. De är en annan sak. Och att det skulle vara roligt att se hur dina barn skulle bli och att få vara mormor åt dom. Det är också bara ditt val. Älskar dig Moa. Hur dina val än är. Bara för att du är du. 😘 Din Mammi ❤️
Trackback
